My girlfriend cheated, how do I get over it?

Question: “My girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend while I was away at Army BTC. She sent him pictures of her nude body and one had his name written in marker on her chest. I am in so much pain from this. She also sent her body to another guy. No marker or anything. It pains me that she did this but I love too much to let her go. Her and I have already had premarital sex and I talked to my Bishop about it but I still can’t forgive. I’m going on my mission soon but I’m scared she will cheat! How do I forgive and work on gaining that trust? How do I be like Jesus Christ? How can let it go?”

Answer: I am so sorry to hear that your girlfriend cheated on you with your friend while you were away. You must be devastated, infidelity married or together is very painful. You are likely feeling a myriad of emotions … anger, hurt, betrayal, confusion, and mistrust.

Bottom line here is you cannot trust her. Her sending naked photos of herself to this other fellow as well as some other guy is clear evidence that she is lacking in several ways emotionally in her own life and is reaching out to other guys for validation. I am not sure of her past but marker on the chest, nude photos, then nudes to some other second person is clear evidence that she cannot be trusted anytime soon Trust is built upon consistent behavior over time. She has little time on her side as you just mentioned that she was doing the photos. I’d not trust her and if you want this relationship to succeed you need to get professional help with her, counseling to work through it. The likelihood of it happening again is really high. Is she insecure? Does she flirt often with other guys? Did you catch her or did she tell you? Is she lying or hiding in other ways? Answers to these questions can give you insight as to what you need to do with the relationship.

You mentioned you are going on a mission soon and you are working with your Bishop. Glad to hear you are trying to get things lined up so you can go worthily and serve. You mentioned that you are afraid she’ll cheat on you if you leave and that you are struggling to forgive her. Let me first talk about the fear she’ll cheat. If you are afraid she’ll cheat again you must deeply feel she doesn’t value you and that you can’t trust her. What does it tell you about the relationship that she is sexting with two other guys? Clearly, you care more for her than she does you else she’d not be cheating. I’d suggest that you move away from living beneath yourself and move on with your life. I can’t decide for you but you are young and dating and clearly care about her, yet she is cheating on you. If she is willing to work with you and get professional help with you then possibly stay with her, if not move on. A mission would do you good and she will likely move on with other guys anyway. Also, do you really want a girl that is sexing other guys and who can’t be trusted? You deserve more. If you are still also going to do Army as well you need to move on, she’ll likely cheat again if not now then later but I’d look for a lady you can trust and throw your heart into not beg to have your current girlfriend rehabilitated emotionally.

Don’t quit, there are many fish in the sea. Keep swimming.